To speak out loud that which I fear to share.
To make audible the beatings of my heart.
Voice wavering.
Emotion welling up.
My hands will shake. Composure lost.
Heart exposed.
Real feeling expressed.
Love revealed.
My relationship with you.
I can’t keep it surface.
It dives deep.
But my mouth remains sealed.
My heart remains my own.
I don’t share it. If I can help it.
I am so ashamed that my fear has won out!
I hate fear!
I don’t like what I can’t do.
It makes me angry!
If I could, pretend it doesn’t exist,
That thing that I fear.

And yet,

I long to praise you from my heart
From that deep. deep place
Where the spirit resides
In my inner being
That place of undeniable truth
Of irreplicable creativity
Of whole body love

My eyes long to see you
To look into yours
For you to look at me
To be seen by you

My hands long to hold yours
To feel your fingers.
To know your warmth

My body longs to be near yours
To sit by your side
To lean my head on your shoulder

And yet.